Thoughtful Thursday October 4, 2018

#1 wayRumi Poem to manage conflict. Lose.


Often little or big conflicts arise in my day because I’m holding onto beliefs, opinions, or perceptions. These are Rumi’s ideas of wrong doing and right doing. In my small life sphere, my beliefs can lead to minor conflicts with my husband, bigger rifts with siblings, occasionally lost friendships and once my beliefs got me laid off from a job. (Not to say I wasn’t RIGHT). On a global scale, right and wrongdoing are the main proponents behind war, diaspora and genocide.

I know. Somethings are just right and some are wrong. But is there another way to approach conflict?

Yes. Lose.


At the Sunday Sit, Peter led me to arrange myself in a relaxed seat with an alert, straight spine.  Then he directed me to breathe in and say “in” to myself. Then breathe out and say “out” to myself. He encouraged me to “lose” my usual perspective, thinking and beliefs. He urged me to take responsibility and believe that I could direct my attention. I could keep coming back to “in” and “out”.  This is a concentration practice.

VIDEO link coming soon

Peter mentioned that we can become accustomed to “losing” in this way.   Losing is the first step toward trustworthiness.

Trustworthiness integrates three elements

  • Wisdom – drop your perspective (this is the losing part)
  • Love – see anothers’ point of view
  • Power – take action for the good of all beings. (after we lose, we transcend and act

I can’t explain how it works. When I loosen the hold of a perspective that binds me, even for a few moments, new insights arise. I can then empathize with another person, and am free to take action from a new place. Try the practice above. Then test it out in a minor conflict in your life and share a comment or question below.